What do we know now?
Elder Scrolls VI was announced at E3 2018 with the teasiest of teaser trailers – an unexpected demonstration that left many a breast-heaving and minds everywhere full of questions. What was this demo from those that brought us Skyrim and Fallout: New Vegas? Surely something tantalising, something that would pull a new generation of gamers into a universe rich in lore and history.
Brought to you from the genius mind of Todd Howard. (Source: Bethesda)
It was literally “ThE eLdEr ScRoLlS iV” pasted over some drone footage of the Kerry mountains with a remix of the Oblivion theme playing in the background.
But that was 2018. Obviously, time has been meaningless this last year (holy s**t, year?) but it might surprise you to know that 2018 was three whole years ago. Three years! If you don’t think that’s a long time, you can use that to get two divorces now. But I digress.
Reader beware: info-dump incoming
March 13th, 2021 marked one thousand days since the announcement of ES6, and people would not believe the developments since. For example (and in no particular order):
Gaming moved to the next generation with the development and release of the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S.
AI was successfully developed that can accurately detect breast and prostate cancers.
The world lost stalwart comic book writer and everybody’s unofficial third grandad, Stan Lee. Incidentally, the world also finally understood gut-wrenching, jaw-clenching, and suffocating pain.
Britney Spears is apparently a captive of her own family who tries to wheel her out like a zoo animal for profit.
Speaking of zoo animals – freaking Tiger King and all those cool cats and kittens that maybe, probably, ate a lady’s husband.
Humans have successfully landed a rover on Mars that can reliably transmit information back to earth, including what it sounds like to actually be on Mars. On a side note, I now understand what arid sounds like.
SpaceX had a successful manned mission to the ISS and made people believe Elon Musk isn’t some sort of borderline-sane alien robot.
Elon Musk subsequently went on to have a kid and named it something that then made people think he might really be some sort of borderline-sane alien robot.
Simpsons was renewed for its billionth season. Prospective episodes include a fight between Elon Musk’s kid and titled “Pedo Guy” and a repeat episode of Lisa convincing Mr. Burns to recycle but instead recycling the plot itself with Greta Thunberg.
A Saudi prince can order an international journalist chopped to bits but still get high fives from his world leader bros.
Studies of the M87 Galaxy render the first official images of a black hole.
You must subscribe to NASA’s OnlyFans to see an unblurred version of this hole. (Source: NASA)
We sent a rocket to goddamn Mercury, the second closest place to the Sun after the actual freaking Sun and almost no one mentioned anything.
Miggeldy term 2.
Voyager 2 made it outside the heliopause of the solar system and into interstellar space (yeah there’s a lot of space stuff, strap in).
Turns out you can single-handedly shut down Gatwick airport if you have a drone awesome enough that it gets compared to the Icelandic volcano that shut down most of the aviation in the northern hemisphere in 2010.
Notre Dame is burned down, likely by a short, inebriated, and easily offended Irishman confusing the building with a college in the United States.
Theresa May resigned and proved to us on live television that androids can in fact cry without short-circuiting their eye mechanics, accidentally melt their own faces off, and reveal their cold metal endoskeletons underneath, proving to the world, finally, that I was right all along.
Apparently, China really respects Hong Kong’s desire to hang on to democracy but is also willing to beat that idea out of them.
Ireland, once again, did not make it in the Rugby World Cup in Japan.
ISIS – of international terrorism fame, not Archer fame – got railed.
The Catholic Church, under the direction of that young go-getter Francis, changes its official (and personal) definition of child porn from under-fourteen to under-eighteen. I know life expectancy around the church’s founding was pretty grim, but surely a policy update was warranted around the Renaissance, no?
He Jiankui, who claimed to have developed genetically-altered babies, was discovered to not have actually genetically altered any babies. He was tried and sentenced to three years in prison and fined hundreds of thousands of dollars for manipulating results, implanting genetically altered material into women without consent, and just being a straight-up d**k. You should now re-read that sentence and ask yourself: was I using his name or his pronoun?
We saw how Phase 3 of the MCU panned out. We also saw the DCEU panned.
A global pandemic enters the fray. The world is locked down. Everyone, slowly, collectively, loses their minds a bit.
CGC was formed (whoop!).
We heard you like CGC, so we put some CGC in the CGC post so you can read some CGC while looking at CGC! (Source: Casual Game Critic Twitter)
The inevitable, yet historic, conjoining of Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael that is so sensuously charged by its 100-year taboo that one would be forgiven for forgetting the cuckolded Greens in the corner of the room, desperately crying out for scraps of attention. Less desperate, it seems, than it was selling out its soul.
At this point: lockdown number = month number, right?
Miggeldy got a new dog.
Scientists across the entire planet collaborated on the development of several vaccines for COVID-19 – several successfully completing clinical trials and be made available. It was unprecedented for its cross-industry sharing of information and lack of patenting that allowed for the record development.
Vision is now white, but you can’t just ask him why he’s white.
The AAA rating of games has come very close to losing all meaning.
We have tripled our knowledge of individual species of electric eel.
A second patient – known as the London patient – was successfully cured of their HIV infection. This was conducted using radiotherapy and bone marrow transplants, similar to the Berlin patient 12 years previously.
Bethesda was bought by Microsoft and announced plans for PC and Xbox exclusives.
Wait, something happened with Bethesda?
Well, yes, but not in a way that substantially affects non-board members. The acquisition by Microsoft was said to be a reasonably smooth affair and having virtually no impact on games in development. So, what else have we heard from Bethesda?
Zip. Nada. Zilch. You’d be as well looking for clues among the hieroglyphics carved into the sphinx. One thousand days since the infamous trailer and we know the same now as we did then. We don’t know the location in which the game takes place. We don’t know what time period the game is set. We don’t even know at what point in development ES6 is.
Rumours abound, of course. With little to no evidence, people will say the game will take place in Hammerfell and be a continuation of the civil war seen in Skyrim. Others will say the game will take place across the ocean in Akavir and be about a quest to find the Nerevarine – the protagonist of ES3: Morrowind.
More frustrating than an arrow to the knee
Don’t tell me you can’t hear this picture. (Source: Bethesda)
Bethesda has been by no means idle in the interim. Elder Scrolls Online and Fallout 76 are both active projects, the former receiving regular expansions that could rival the size of your average RPG. We also know that Bethesda has its foray into space, Starfield, currently in production. Starfield is an equally enigmatic game that is set to be released before ES6, so it would be realistic to get much more information regarding that before we hear anything about Tamriel.
Similar to the sentiments in my last post, all people really need to quell the feeling of frustration is information. A slow drip of tidbits is a perfect way to drum up excitement for the game. Online forums are rife with ideas and conjecture and that is with a total absence of info. Imagine the buzz a carefully selected morsel would cause? A mere location would drive fan pages into theory overdrive. We’re almost ten years since the release of Skyrim – the longest gap in between releases of the series’ core titles. ESO and Elder Scrolls: Blades, while successful in their own right, are mere stop-gaps in the enriching story of Nirn.
If I’m being honest, I just want the game to be released so I can stop having nightmares about Skyrim’s 4,098,214th port to the refurbished Nokia Ngage.
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